Dear Reader, Someone sent me a bouquet today. Of beautiful white and yellow daisies with a cute butterfly, that looks like it landed on one of the flowers. I dont know who it is from, it didnt say. But I forgot mothers day is coming up. And its my first mothers day where I feelContinue reading “Entry #41”
Category Archives: journal
Entry #40
Dear Reader, One day life will be simple. One day I will play with clay and build a new mug right along side my kiddos. I will be able to coil build sculptures and they will be happy. And the pain that I feel wont randomly strike across my face. I know Ill always Struggle.Continue reading “Entry #40”
Entry #39
Dear Reader, I forced myself out of the house today. And I went to a MOPS meeting. And I spent the whole time trying not to cry because my everyday life is so intense. I kept doing everything this morning with the mindset of just in case. I got dressed just in case. I gotContinue reading “Entry #39”
Entry #38
Dear Reader, February 20th 2022 was an eye opening day for me. My morning started out with me trying to figure out how to message Angela about what I was remembering. Its important to realize that at this time I thought she cared about me and I wanted her help to get through these memories.Continue reading “Entry #38”
Entry #36
Dear Reader, Its this constant internal battle with myself. The part of me that loves, adores and misses my adoptive parents. And the part of me that knows they did wrong. That knows what happened nearly every day of my first 14 years of life was abuse. That knows they dont actually care about me.Continue reading “Entry #36”
Entry #35
Dear Reader, We often dont speak up when we believe or suspect someones been abused. Out of fear for our own lives and reputation we allow those people to suffer in silence. Its time to change that. I know its hard. To imagine that standing up for whats right could result in a backlash fromContinue reading “Entry #35”
Entry #34
Dear Reader, She keeps going to work everyday. My mom. Yea She keeps living life like everything is normal. When my whole world felt like it was falling apart. Shewas unphased. When everything I’d ever known crumbled right in front of me, she went to work. She didnt feel sorry for me. She didnt makeContinue reading “Entry #34”
Entry #33
Dear Reader, I’ve been a bit absent today. Because my mind has been free all day. I havent had a single moment of stress. No thoughts about my crazy life. I dont feal like Im living in reality. But this is my reality. This life is my new reality every day. Soon. The craziness, theContinue reading “Entry #33”
Entry #32
Dear Reader, I already blogged today. But something is on my mind that I feel the need to talk about. I look at my daughter. Shes 4 months. She smiles at me everytime I make Eye contact with her. She hardly cries and when she does I just want to make her smile again. ShesContinue reading “Entry #32”
Entry #31
Dear Reader, Its easy to warp the mind of a child. You have to be a really sick person to train there minds for your personal gain. You really do. I was groomed in so many ways. I was taught that I was to obey my parents. No matter what. For it pleases the Lord.Continue reading “Entry #31”
Dear Reader, Love Ally 