Entry #39

Dear Reader,

I forced myself out of the house today. And I went to a MOPS meeting. And I spent the whole time trying not to cry because my everyday life is so intense. I kept doing everything this morning with the mindset of just in case. I got dressed just in case. I got the kids dressed just in case. I brushed my hair just in case i decided to go. And I went. And then i talked to people just in case they could help get my mind of things. And all while I was doing that.

My mother in law was trying to have a normalish day at the dentist. I say normalish because every single day we really are living in this fucking nightmare but we try to do the best we can to take it day by day, for all of the kids. And she ran into her. My adoptive mother. And instead of my mother addressing the situation with a “hello im sorry for what you are going through” she ran. Obviously because she knows Heather knows the truth and that shes a coward. Which is a good thing because Im sure she didn’t want to hear what my MIL had to say. But my point is. We shouldnt be running into them.

What sucks is a very very small part of me feels bad for My mom. But at the same time. She still doesnt care about me. She still isnt trying to help.

Back in 2017. When I was pregnant with my first son. My sister was crying out for help. And like an idiot. I ignored her, i denied knowing anything about my father. And as My poor little sister reached out to people and was so damn brave to start telling her story. Instead of support her like I should’ve, I sided with my mom. Who told me “to tell everyone that Laura made it all up to get attention.” And I did..

I chose Angela over my own blood. And I let Laura down. I didnt act like her sister. I wanted to run away from my own problems. I didnt want to face the truth. And sadly. I threw away the relationship she and I had to keep my mother in my life.

Anyways in 2017 November I was having a baby shower at Angelas house. I did not invite my biological Aunt because Laura had told her about the abuse amd at the time I was afraid shed ask me about it.

I openly spoke about this to my mom. And although the things I say of maria I feel bad for now, at the time I was really afraid of people knowing about Guy.

Below is a conversation my mom and I had regarding my biological Aunt and the shower. As well as the fact that laura had had a conversation about Guy.

This next message below will really strike a nerve for some of you. As it does me because I casually said yea true i could just say she lies all the time.

I dont know how much proof anyone needs! But this response stood out to me because Guy and Angela put on there response to my restraining order and claims of abuse with “Growing up Ally lied all of the time. She called the police in 2008 because she said someone was breaking in to the house. She lied alot growing up, shes lying now for attention”

And now I know how my poor sister felt. Now I know. Because Im in the same boat. They made her out to be crazy. And they are trying to do the same to me. Except I now know I am not crazy. And they feel threatened dont they?

Love Ally