Dear Reader, As I danced around my living room today, with my daughter. I felt an overwhelming amount of love, joy and even sorrow. Love. I love her eyes. The way they stare back into mine. I love how she opens her mouth really wide like a yawn when shes happy. I love the wayContinue reading “Entry #45”
Category Archives: abuse
Entry #44
Dear Reader, She knew. When my abuser was touching himself behind me on the living room floor watching a disney movie, while she sat on the couch. She knew. I a child. Knew the sound of him touching himself…and as an adult I still know that sound. So how could she not know? I knowContinue reading “Entry #44”
Entry #43
Dear Readers, Happy Mothers Day to all the moms who put there kids before themselves. To the moms who cried when they went to bed because they were afraid that they failed as a parent. To the mom who feels there childs pain at the end of each day. I spent the day trying toContinue reading “Entry #43”
The Truth Entry #2
Dear Readers, Turning in your abuser can be the hardest thing we’ve ever done. But I did it. You can too. It hurts. The child within you HURTS. But if every adult turned in there perpetrator now. We could save the children. I know a child that…has the same abuser as I do. And heContinue reading “The Truth Entry #2”
Entry #42
Dear Reader, I am not sure what hurts more the fact that I was abused or the fact that I loved my abuser. The fact that even though he made me feel so low I also thought I could trust him. I’m not really sure how the mind of a child works when someone canContinue reading “Entry #42”
Entry #41
Dear Reader, Someone sent me a bouquet today. Of beautiful white and yellow daisies with a cute butterfly, that looks like it landed on one of the flowers. I dont know who it is from, it didnt say. But I forgot mothers day is coming up. And its my first mothers day where I feelContinue reading “Entry #41”
Entry #40
Dear Reader, One day life will be simple. One day I will play with clay and build a new mug right along side my kiddos. I will be able to coil build sculptures and they will be happy. And the pain that I feel wont randomly strike across my face. I know Ill always Struggle.Continue reading “Entry #40”
Entry #39
Dear Reader, I forced myself out of the house today. And I went to a MOPS meeting. And I spent the whole time trying not to cry because my everyday life is so intense. I kept doing everything this morning with the mindset of just in case. I got dressed just in case. I gotContinue reading “Entry #39”
Entry #38
Dear Reader, February 20th 2022 was an eye opening day for me. My morning started out with me trying to figure out how to message Angela about what I was remembering. Its important to realize that at this time I thought she cared about me and I wanted her help to get through these memories.Continue reading “Entry #38”
Entry #36
Dear Reader, Its this constant internal battle with myself. The part of me that loves, adores and misses my adoptive parents. And the part of me that knows they did wrong. That knows what happened nearly every day of my first 14 years of life was abuse. That knows they dont actually care about me.Continue reading “Entry #36”
Dear Reader, Love Ally 