Dear Reader, She probably loved me. My mom. Im sure she did. Im sure despite the way she sided with my dad, she loves me in some way. Right? I dont even like to think of it. I dont even like to think of the possibility that she still cares about me. Because if sheContinue reading “Entry #50”
Category Archives: awareness
Entry #49
Dear Reader, There is pain everywhere. Pain in living in my Turth. In living in the reality of who I am. And what my life has been. Pain that I sometimes want to take it all back and go back to my life because My mind and heart truely believed I could build a relationshipContinue reading “Entry #49”
Entry #48
Dear Reader, My emotions are all over the place tonight. I feel an overwhelming amount of resentment and anger towards myself. Because In my mind I felt like It was okay to accept the constant pressure. In my mind I felt like I asked for it in some way or another. I’ve participated in thingsContinue reading “Entry #48”
Entry #47
Dear Reader, Its the little things. The little things about freedom that change the way you think. Like the way I thought about chores at the end of the day. I used to hate them. I used to see them as more work. I used to see them as exactly that a chore. But IContinue reading “Entry #47”
Entry #46
Dear Reader, I am not a vindictive person. I am loyal to a fault. I am one of the most kind hearted people you can meet. I don’t like to hurt people. I didn’t like to be the one to break ties with someone so I will often keep them as a friend even ifContinue reading “Entry #46”
Entry #45
Dear Reader, As I danced around my living room today, with my daughter. I felt an overwhelming amount of love, joy and even sorrow. Love. I love her eyes. The way they stare back into mine. I love how she opens her mouth really wide like a yawn when shes happy. I love the wayContinue reading “Entry #45”
Entry #44
Dear Reader, She knew. When my abuser was touching himself behind me on the living room floor watching a disney movie, while she sat on the couch. She knew. I a child. Knew the sound of him touching himself…and as an adult I still know that sound. So how could she not know? I knowContinue reading “Entry #44”
Entry #43
Dear Readers, Happy Mothers Day to all the moms who put there kids before themselves. To the moms who cried when they went to bed because they were afraid that they failed as a parent. To the mom who feels there childs pain at the end of each day. I spent the day trying toContinue reading “Entry #43”
The Truth Entry #2
Dear Readers, Turning in your abuser can be the hardest thing we’ve ever done. But I did it. You can too. It hurts. The child within you HURTS. But if every adult turned in there perpetrator now. We could save the children. I know a child that…has the same abuser as I do. And heContinue reading “The Truth Entry #2”
Entry #42
Dear Reader, I am not sure what hurts more the fact that I was abused or the fact that I loved my abuser. The fact that even though he made me feel so low I also thought I could trust him. I’m not really sure how the mind of a child works when someone canContinue reading “Entry #42”
Dear Reader, Love Ally 