Entry #47

Dear Reader,

Its the little things. The little things about freedom that change the way you think. Like the way I thought about chores at the end of the day. I used to hate them. I used to see them as more work. I used to see them as exactly that a chore.

But I started thinking about it this way. I cleaned off my sons grimy fingerprints from his tablet and I caught myself, wondering wow tomorrow, hes not going to say thank you to me for cleaning off his tablet. Tomorrow he is going to pick it up and play with it and not notice a difference. But one day. One day he will remember that mom used to clean off his tablet for him so she could sleep in on certain mornings. One day they will remember walking out to a clean living room so they could have fun destroying it the next day. One day they will remember mom struggling to cook them dinner in the evenings while they begged for attention at my feet. They will always remember having something to eat.

One day they wont remember mom who snapped at them before bedtime last night. They will remember me as the mom who made sure to set time aside each night to snuggle them before bed. No matter how tired, or grumpy or sad I was.

Im just mom. To them I am a damm good mom. And they wouldnt have it any other way. One day they will remember mommy was always safe.

And so I will do those dishes, and I will clean those tablets. And I will let them watch tv sometimes so i can sleep in. Because they wont see that as a negative thing. They will only know how much I loved them every day.

And thats all I ever want to be. Mom.

Love Ally