Entry #61

Dear Reader,

I spent alot of my day today distracting myself from the current events going on around me. I am realizing who the real people are in my life and it seems like every time I have accepted loosing certain people, I loose another. And its all over my choice to be honest.

This is the very reason why victims are afraid to say anything. Because most everything that the abuser tells them is going to happen if they say anything, does happen. So dont get me wrong. You gain some you loose some. But you gain so much more. You gain self respect, you gain pride in yourself, you gain your voice, you take your power back.

And that Grandma who doesnt believe you. She will. And its not your fault that things take time. God has a plan for all things. We just have to wait. And maybe she will believe you before hes declared guilty in a court of law. Or maybe she wont. Or maybe she already does. But that doesnt matter. And its okay if you just dont know.

You dont have to know how to feel. I dont know how to feel sometimes. And that is okay.

Some people won’t believe you. And thats why most victims don’t want to speak out. But remember. Thats how you stay a victim. You and I, we are much much more then that. We are survivors, we are educators, we are worth more then anyone elses opinion or beliefs. We must live in the best way for ourselves, our partners and our children.

Dont let pedophiles keep the power. Take it back. Take there power over our children away.

Love Ally