Dear Reader,
I felt in my heart that I should share an Entry from my personal Journal that I wrote yesterday. I haven’t posted on here in a long time due to my case being still active. However Guy has been moved to Alaska and the evidence is concrete so nothing I say here should affect the results of that case. And My other abuser should be behind bars, but isn’t. That doesn’t mean People shouldn’t know the truth of whst I am going through. Regardless of how much it may expose her.
With that being said, please read this with caution if you have experienced religious trauma, or any sort of trauma really as it may be triggering for some people.
8/23/2025
I want to speak out about religious manipulation and how if can effect children who were raised in it well into adulthood. I was raised up in a strict Christian home. We had Bible verses on post it notes in our bathrooms. We attended Awana and church regularly. Even went to Christian based schools and Christian curriculums when homeschooling. I started truely believing in Jesus around 7 years old. That is when I started praying independently and I always attended youth groups.
Christianity was a no compromise; need to live in our home. You HAD to attend church. Pray at dinner time and ask for forgiveness when you did something wrong. These beliefs were also used to preach forgiveness. The Lord always forgives, therefore to be Holy you had to forgive your family. No matter what they did. Guy and Angela preached about how Jesus forgave and Loved my dad. And that he struggled with pedophilic cravings but they were not his fault. They were from the devil and he did not intend to hurt us. In fact one of the things they both claimed was that his desires did not start till they adopted us and started living in there home. “We had a demon attached to us” she would say. We pursued him, we tried to touch him and He just couldnt resist the temptation. At one point, once I was a junior in highschool and became argumentative towards them about being sexually active with boyfriends. Since they would lecture me on how sinful it was. And I would say “you have no right to tell me what to do with my body considering all you’ve done to destroy it.” They’d go on and on about how Guy no longer has those desires and the Lord saved him, and the past isn’t an exuse for what i was doing now. Oftentimes, these arguments became physical and I would be thrown out, then run away, come home and the cycle would continue. I wrestled with my inner self about forgiving Guy. I truely struggled deep down on whether or not I was truly supposed to just move on from this hurt and it was something I regularly prayed about.
Considering the fact they are very religious people, or at least portray themselves as such. When I prayed and prayed after my daughter was born for the Lord to remove the guilt I felt in my gut having her around them and finally felt as though I was listening and turned them in. Its interesting that my wording during this time is what they use against me the most in there legal defense. That “I believe God told me Guy did these things” when in fact it was that I believe God told me to stop hiding behind THERE sin. And the only way to do that was to turn them in. I recieved many things in the mail from Guys attorney. Saying I had phycosis and used other religious speech to try and get my medical records. Ive been shamed by there family. And they’ve reached out to others in the community to pray for me, that I and my family are demon possessed. I actually believe that They didnt worship the True God. I believe They are in some type of cult. There are many family members who are the most outwardly expressive with there faith that have stood behind him. Reached out to me that they couldnt be in contact with me till things settle in court. Yet have flown out of state to visit him in jail. And have invited his wife to there daughters wedding. They have shunned and withheld support for the very few family members who’ve been supportive. And I believe may follow true faith. But Its funny that people who used religion to make themselves look righteous. Taught in Christian schools and cared so much about there public values are the ones who claim The Lord spoke to me and there is just no way that could’ve happened!
My brother reached out, it was a while ago now. And sent me a bible verse and a lesson about “forgiveness” and told me He was worried that I would be seperated from God for not forgiving Guy and Angela. And this is something that I definitely struggled with. But I learned that Forgiveness does NOT mean acceptance. You can only forgive someone who is truely sorry. Who isn’t actively doing the exact thing they want forgiveness for. I dont owe them any sort if sympathy just because I believe in God and they believe God loves them. One of the most powerful things I ever said to Guy was “If I cannot have a relationship with you on earth, if you are truely forgiven, I look forward to a relationship in heaven”. This was on the night He drove to the police station to “turn himself in” if we want to call it that. But this statement angered him greatly. He didnt want a relationship at all if I couldnt forgive him Right now, and accept that he wasn’t actively attracted to minors Right Now. And I just wasn’t having that. Still to this day Angela speaks as if she is preaching the word of God but like Jezebel she uses the Bible to her own personal benefit. If she is praying like she claims, Im not sure who she could be praying to. Because surely she doesn’t believe shes at the feet of Jesus while she actively lies about her part in the abuse My sister and I went through.
In adulthood I still struggle sometimes with understanding how I prayed so much for a different life as a kid and didnt get that. But I know my story has a greater purpose then it would have if these things didnt happen to me. I have hope that I will be advocating for other children and adults who’ve experienced sexual abuse at the hands of there parents. Because of the impact that Angela had in the community surrounding Christian values and teaching at private schools. I often run into people lately who know me as her daughter. And they get excited when they find out who I am and perk up with “oh I just loved your mother I used to work with her at cflc” and I have to stop them. I dont go into detail anymore. I just say “no I am no contact with them. Guy is in jail and she should be too” and I leave it at that. But again, its annoying, frustrating and sometimes painful that shes viewed as such a possitive person due to her outward impression surrounding Christianity. My family hid behind the church. Not just guy amd Angela but there parents and siblings too. And ive done research and this is actually a common practice used on children. Imprint the word of God under false meaning so that we will never turn them in or speak out about there true lives. When really they are in a cult. Sometimes I joke that the must’ve met through some undercover pedophile church arranged by their own parents. I mean, what other explanation do I have to justify the things they’ve all done. How Guys Mother actually tells people that this case is a spiritual battle. A battle against my demons. I guess in some ways, she is right. But she has the narrative wrong. The demons that Held me back from my true potential in life were her son and her daughter in law. Not me. The spiritual battle would be using my faith that they taught me to interrogate me on the stand. Using the religion that they believe in to still make me question or justify my own faith. To test me to see whether or not I will deny the fact that Jesus has been my crutch and what truely saved me from the darkness I was living in. I wonder if she truely believes anything she says about the District attorneys being possessed or if its a fantasy she had to create in her own mind because of the guilt she feels about her son’s actions. I know she knew something. Im not the one living in a psychosis. I am just one of the lucky ones. Many people abused in the name of God turn away from religion. And the goal of people like Guy and Angela would’ve been to keep me away from the Lord. They dont feel proud by my profession of faith. They feel condemned. They didn’t accomplish what they really wanted from me. Which was to separate me from reality as well as the True Jesus. And to accept their evil so that I may never see the light. And they failed miserably.
John 3 19-20
This is the verdict, light has come into the world. But people loved darkness instead of light because there deeds were evil. Everyone who loves evil hates the light and will not come into it for fear that there deeds will be exposed.”
And that is the end of what I wrote. I hope my story can resonate with someone. That if you have experienced a similar story you dont feel shame speaking out. It’s not easy all of the time, however it is a much better life to be honest. I know that what happened to me is not my shame to hold onto, it belongs to my abusers and there family. Thanks for Reading.
Love Ally
Dear Reader, Love Ally 