Entry #29

Dear Reader,

Wow. What a day today was! I woke up feeling pretty defeated after some personal conversations I had yesterday. But my boys woke up in the happiest of moods! And they really lifted my spirits. My oldest son, Eris gave me a big hug and said in his extra cute voice “I really love you Mom.” And Kuiper jumped on the bed yelling so chearfully “Its a beautiful Day momma! Its not nighttime anymore. Are you ready to get up? Im hungry!”

And I laughed because first of all hes always hungry amd secondly I immediately felt like Im doing my job right. The fact that they felt so cheerful means my mood and my emotions from the day before hasn’t affected them. And they just see me. And when they look back in 10 years they will just remember me.

Me being there. Even though i was fighting a battle on the side. Me laughing with them even though i was crying when I went to bed. Me doing projects with them when my mind can barely even focus on my own projects. They just remember Me. There mom. And I love that. I love that I am succeeding in my job as there mom even though I feel like I already failed. Even though I beat myself up everynight wondering if I did the right things. Or said the right thing to them. Or If I was too strict with them. I really beat myself up emotionally and Its really not necessary.

Today all 3 kids took a nap with me at the same time. Today all 3 kiddos and I went to the park and they had a blast. As I get ready to cook dinner I am proud to say that I made it through another day. And I made it a good freaking day. Despite the challenges.

I am a Super Mom. And I just wanted to take a minute to pause and appreciate myself and my family.

Love Ally