Entry #18

Dear Readers,

I feel the need to express something to everyone.

Please. Please tell someone outside your family about the abuse thats happening to you. Because as a child. My mom took me to confront my dad everytime I told her he did something to me. Or to my sister. She would make me ask him And he would deny it and she would say “see you are lying. Shame on you. God says not to lie” and she would take me to my room. Pull down my pants and tell her to never come to her with assumptions.

And she did it EVERYTIME. THATS why i didnt tell the police in el paso. Because in my head as a teenager i thought theyd make me ask him to his face. Hed deny it then i would go home and mom would know.

Then she would take me home. And spank me. And then a part of me felt like she would call my grandma and tell her what a lier I was. And SHE would spank me too.

Because my mom used to spank me in front of her parents.

So Please. If you feel unsafe in your family or you have questions. Tell your teacher. Or your friends mom. And if they cant help you then you tell another friends mom or the busdriver at school, or the man scanning your gum across the barcode at a gas station.

Tell them. Because I told my mom. And she didnt help me.

I was so groomed to believe the cops would make me ask my dad to his face what He did to me. And so I never told. But you dont ever deserve to have to ask your abusers what they did to you. Especially as a child. So dont stop telling people.

Because right now i would not ask my adopted father if he abused me I would tell him he did.

And I would not ask My adopted mother why she abused me. Because I do not care why. I would Tell Her What She Did.

Love Ally