Entry #16

Dear Reader,

I talk about my mom alot. Because what happened to me with my Dad wasnt a big shock. I guess in the back of my mind I had always hoped hed changed. But A part of me wasn’t sure if he could. I trusted my mom. And she ended up being just as at fault for everything. And that was a shock.

Im saying this because today I do want to talk about my adoptive dad…

He was funny. He could make me laugh so hard Id forget all the dangers. I thought he loved me more then anyone else… I knew he abused me but he made me believe it was an accident. He made me believe that he was sorry.

I really truely 100 percent believed that if I told him to turn himself in...that he would. I never doubted that. Thats why february twentieth was a massive kick to my face. Its why my heart shattered. Everything fell so fast from here.

When he asked for a lawyer. And didn’t tell the truth. My whole world flipped upside down. If hed been lying the whole time about telling the truth for me… then what out of everything he taught me was backwards to?

I have court tomorrow. And this huge part of me hopes my dad caves in and just tells the truth. But the other part of me knows he wont. I know I won’t be brought to tears by his honesty. Instead he will fight me, the whole way. He will do everything he can to tear me apart. Because everything he convinced me he wouldnt do….is what he is doing now.

Tomorrow lies the truth of who he is. Whether he is honest. Or if he lies. The truth will be told to me either way. Please Stop and say a prayer for me at 8:30am.

Love Ally