Entry #22

Dear Reader,

Something that I learned today is that my abusers are not sorry for what they did to me all. My whole life they tried to convince me that they were so sorry and they were changed people and that’s why I never came forward about anything.

They Promised me that if they ever needed to come forward that they would. But obviously here I am, in the middle of a court case, and instead of apologizing and admitting to what they have done to me they are denying all accusations. Accusations that they know are true.

My abusers have always used religion against me. So when I decided to tell my truth I told them, That this was the right thing to do because this is what God would want me to do. I was basing my decision off of the scripture itself. Real christians would understand what I meant by that. And instead of them understanding (the proof is in the pudding) they are saying that I am crazy. Therefore do they really believe in God? I guess only HE knows right?

Religion from the point of view THEY taught me is that they do not believe in the word of God. Religion was just the cloke to cover the fact that they are a cult. A cult that likes molesting little children. Absolutely disgusting.

And they trained my brain so well. That I actually thought it was okay to have a relationship with the people who abused me. I can not wait to look at my memories as a child and be able to love myself. Even then. I know the fact that I am doing all of this doesnt make sense to some people. But The Day they are declared guilty is the day I get to start healing.

Love Ally